I wasn't able to figure out what i wanted to write about ,so i'm just gonna write about my day. 

The morning wasn't great - i woke up before 9, and even though i told myself yesterday that i would get out of bed and eat breakfast today, i didn't (let's not even act surprised). I stayed in bed and daydreamed. Then i got out of bed to brush my teeth and got back in again and read webtoons. I finished the 5th chapter of Intentional Interviewing And Counseling (Ivey, Ivey, & Zalaquett). I finally made it to the dining table at 11, and had lunch, my first food of the day, at 12. i went to Ratandeep before lunch, and i got myself a bunch of fruits, which i'm hoping will all be gone by the time of my next post. I had lady's finger and roti. I actually paid attention to my food today, not that my thoughts weren't drifting constantly, but a small win is still a win. 

After that, i continued to read Ivey, Ivey, and Zalaquett for class. I finished chapters 6 and 7 by 2, and then went to attend my class. I enjoyed class, it was interactive, and i didn't feel stupid, so that was a plus. My teacher said something that resonated with me in response to a question i asked related to how can use reflection of feelings, because i'm scared to make the wrong assumption about what the client is feeling, and that it will offend or irritate them. They said that being a therapist is not about being right, its about figuring out what's going on and being curious about it. It's okay to be wrong - it can lead the other person exploring their concerns further, and help the client see the counsellor as a person. As a therapist, you don't always need to be right, you need to be curious and open and honest. It really helped get the idea that i don't need to be a robot or perfect to be in a helping field into my thick skull. I'm still allowed to be here even though i'm not the best, or the quickest, or know everything as soon as i do it once. I'm still allowed to learn, even if i have to take it slow, even if i have to go at my own pace. 

I was hungry by the time class was over, which was at 16.50. I went for a little walk, then i got my mom to take me to subway for dinner at 17.20 cause i'd been craving it for a few das without any signs that it was gonna let out. I got myself an Italian BMT wrap, and came home and ate it while watching tv. Even though i was watching tv i still paid adequate attention to my food. I ate it nice and slow too, but at the end i still wanted more. 

I've been feeling like no amount of food is really adequate lately, like there's something in me that desperately needs to be filled. At the same time, i've also been extremely picky about my food. I haven't been able to touch fruits or enjoy vegetables for a little while - buying fruits myself today was my attempt to get myself to enjoy them again so i can relax around my food again. I bought dragon fruit, green apples, cucumbers, small carrots, guava, and renuvallu (i don't know the English word for that one). We already have bananas and oranges at home, and i've been having those not unfrequently (good job, me). 

One really good feeling i had today was that no matter how fast i had to do some things, or how rushed i felt at some points, i still managed to be slow and intentional and calm at various points throughout the day. I ate my food somewhat aware, i moved slowly, i felt comfortable in my body, i filled the ice tray slowly and without spilling any water, i made myself tea and drank it at a comfortable pace, i didn't watch tv for too long, and i just enjoyed being with myself today. I hope i can make tomorrow even better. Some ways i know that i can do that is to just get out of bed quicker after waking up, having a reasonable breakfast, washing my hair, enjoying my lunch, and reading chapter 8 of Ivey, Ivey, and Zalaquett like i was supposed to. That sounds mostly reasonable and doable to me, and i know it's fine i don't get it at the first go either. I'll just try to make it as good a day as possible, and try to be content with the best i can offer myself tomorrow.

That's all about my day. How was yours?

With Comfort and Warm Cookies, Raccoon.